Thanks for stopping by, I hope you enjoy.
Here we are. I did the prep and that was no food for 12 hours, My memory is a lot better by now, my pot smoking has gone down. I was getting tired of always being stoned, even going to Christmas with the Family while I was stoned and stunk like it as well. That must have had to be one of the lowest points in my addiction. I still kick myself for doing that and I know my Uncle knew I was stoned
So back to the story. I walk into Out Patient care and the room is filled with patients and there right in front of me in a packed out patient room was the meanest,worse, horrible thing I have seen in a while! (can you tell I didn't like it?) A sign that said please take a number, too this day I still think they do it to piss patients off, it's almost saying ha fuckers we have the control and there is nothing you can do about it. Heck I swear it was laughing at me as I took that number. I know that it is easier than a line and to make sure nobody cuts line. But still I hate that damn take a number tickets. The people that made those must have hated the world and wanted to get back at everybody in it. Now lucky for me there was a t.v in the room, the bitch was it was on a news station. The magazines were boring and most were missing pages. The room was a teal blue painted wall with windows in the front. Hmm wonder why they had the windows, maybe just in case a fight broke out over the numbered tickets?
So as I am watching news and hear Number 37 being called, I look at my ticket hmm number 40. As I brought my head up I wondered if I can pull a Beetle Juice and get somebodies number. I never did take somebodies number but it's not like I didn't think about it, I just wouldn't want my head shrunk. I swear that clock ticked backwards in time. Then as they called number 39 my first thought is yeah they skipped a number. My second thought after that was oh shit are they going to skip my number? Everybody in the room starts giving each other the evil eye, you would swear there was a prize for whoever has the next number. Boom number 40 was called and I jumped out of my seat. I promptly sped to the counter expecting too get rushed by the 70 year old beside me. As I walked up and handed over my health card I got checked in and got a nifty bracelet and paper work. My thoughts at that time were: yes this is it 10 minutes and I am done and going home. Yeah that didn't happen, the waiting had just began.
I enter the G.I, suit of the hospital and look around. A drab and uninspiring place with white walls that had blue paint half way up the walls and windows on the far side of the room. One counter for all the staff and a phone that never stopped ringing. All the people there were almost double my age if not older and were all patients of my doctor. As I see my GI this amazingly beautiful nurse walks in front of me grabs my paper work asks me do you have a ride? I said yes my mom is picking me up how deflating a beautiful nurse and my mom is picking me up, what am I in grade school? She asked is this the number that she can be reached at. She then asks me my name, my birthday, and age. I am thinking wtf it is all in front of you, I soon realized that it was to check that it was me.
So the nurse put me into a bed and said change into this and leave only your underwear on. In retro spec I wish I had read The Foul Bowel by John Bradley, I would been at least semi prepared for the wait and what was about to happen. So 10 minutes go by and I see a nurse walking towards me I am thinking yes lets do this. Then she turns to the bed beside me and says Mr. Johnson? He replied yes, you are here for a colonoscopy? He said yes and as he was getting wheeled here I am thinking lucky bugger. More time passes and I am starting to wonder when I am going to go in and get the scope. A Nurse comes up me and puts and i.v. into me and said this is for you to go to sleep! I am now thinking hey wait a minute last time I was under I puked on the side of my moms car when we were driving home. Research stated they used to much of the stuff that knocks you out. So now I started to get worried. By now 20 minutes have gone by and I asked the nurse so when am I going to go in to the procedure. The nurse said there is about 3 to 4 people ahead of you and that equaled about a 40 minute wait. That sucked hearing that, but thankfully I had brought my phone and it had games. I was so engrossed in a good game of Tetris I didn't notice the hour had gone and it was time to go it. The nurse asked me my name, birth date and procedure. Following those questions I was wheeled into a corridor that went into a area that led into almost a round area almost a half stop sign. With 3 doors, one at right ahead of me and the slightly to to left one to the right which was parallel. I was brought into the most left room.
Here I am in the room, lying there looking at the ceiling and no were to go and nothing to do. The lights were white bright, and the ceiling was white. I looked around and I see white walls white cupboards and a spotted floor. My next thought was, oh shit I have died and I am in heaven. I then look to my upper left ohh a monitor, I follow the cord oooh a machine, ooooh electronics. My first thought was not what are they and what do they do. It was I wonder if I can get away with playing with those and not get thrown out of the hospital. Then a nurse walks in so beautiful she was so hot that if water touched her she would sizzle I mean hot. Then the first and I am thinking on boy we have a problem here my little buddy noticed her as well and have been through this before, you stay down and all if good. So she starts talking to me and going through my name birth date and procedure, and then we are both waiting for the doctor to arrive. We started talking about the weather, school, and then she asks me what are your plans tonight, I am thinking wow are you hitting on me? And that is all my little buddy needed, alarm bells starting ringing in my head and I am thinking nooo down boy down, nothing is going to happen. Thankfully I had a couple blankets on me, and my little buddy listened thankfully nothing really happened, phew I had just averted a problem that would have never been forgotten. Finally my doctor walks in, he describes the scope to me and what is going to happen and what isn't. I am thinking: no worries but I was wrong and as I was passing out I never imagined in my wildest dreams was about to unfold, as the nurse injects something in me and I remember the lights going out and me going for a nice nap. The next thing I know is that I was facing the wall when I woke up and they were still in the procedure. That's right still in the procedure and you know what that means. The damn scope is still in my throat and my body kicks into a major gag reflex and proceeds to make me choke. As I started choking, all that I hear is my GI was saying Shane relax, Shane Relax, relax? Are you crazy I'm not doing this! This is my body and I can't stop it then boom the lights go out again, I didn't get hurt thankfully. After that I don't remember much more other than that, I never want to relive that again . Next thing I knew the I woke up and the Doctor told me that I have really bad acid re-flux (a symptom of Crohn's)
I was wheeled back into the G.I. Sweet I passed out and slept for about 30 minutes and when I woke the nurse asked me if I was ok to get up and not very groggy. Then the nurse drew the blind which sported a blue polka dot with white background and I proceeded to get dressed. I never did take the acid pills I knew that wasn't the major problem.
There is more installments coming but that is all for The Meeting of The Scope and Me, my blogs will get my intense as it goes with more detail, Last time I wrote was a while ago. Thanks for reading
Shane
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